Motherhood Uncorked - Sanity Savers

Sanity Savers 9/28/2012

When we start out on this journey into parenthood we are typically delusional. We expect to have an understanding of our duties and an ability to manage the nuances of our role without an extensive internship (paid or not) or even any real learning. Regardless we march into what is easily arguable the most important job of our lives and try, somehow to manage it all with humility and sensibility, and to ultimately produce a reasonable product (our kids in 20 – 25 years) while by some means maintaining our sanity.

A fresh faced Matty enjoying the day.

I am someone who likes order. As those who know me can attest, I find pleasure in organizing structure in the mists chaos. I could work on an assembly line only long enough to figure out the most efficient way to do a task and then would need to quickly move on to the next step. I love the challenge of the big picture, figuring out how to tackle a large issue and leave it to others to handle the day to day operations. Not as to say I don’t like pulling my share, but for some reason, my head just works in this way. I missed my calling. I should have been a project manager. Tackling a project and then moving on.

With the introduction of children into the home I have been forced to analyze how I manage my tasks of daily living. Unless you are fortunate enough to have a full staff you have to give up the idea of home perfection and find a balance between your ideal (a Restoration Hardware catalogue) and the possibility without intervention (a fraternity house) for your home. I have come up with a few sanity savers which really help me with the management of the details while staying true to my goal of efficiency.

Like many I’m sure, I am a big fan of buying in bulk and ordering on line. Why truck to the store when they will ship to my house for free? Why buy diapers now when I know next month Costco will offer a coupon for the mega box? But my desire of efficiency has (sadly some might say) spread even further. I stack the dishwasher in a particular way. There is a way to maximize what goes in the machine and a way allow for more efficient removal (yes that sounds a bit pathological but it’s true). I use laundry bags when washing the kid’s socks and haven’t lost one to the laundry gnomes yet. I use small see through bags for my diaper/handbags to organize my supplies by type and to easily see what I have or need and to easily transfer items from one bag to the next. But my biggest and best sanity saver to date has to be my two mini-hampers.

Matty in need of a cleaning.

My younger son especially is a big spitter and I struggled with what to do with the seemingly endless cloth products (bibs, burp cloths, dish towels etc.) that seemed to multiply in various locations on my kitchen counter, as well as, the never ending stream of washcloths and the same in the bathroom. I would, with irritation, look at the dirty cloths on the counter and think, “oh why can’t I just get them down stairs to the laundry?”. In reality, and probably to my credit, the pile cultivated as I was doing much more important tasks like feeding a child or giving a bath. But even though I intellectually knew what was happening, I still felt uneasy about the unattractive pile that taunted me.

A great way to avoid the clean up, eat out!

Then one day it came to me. I invested about five dollars (a cheap sanity saver) and found a plastic basket matching my kitchen counter and created a mini hamper in the kitchen (and similar in the bathroom). I would allow myself the freedom to have a designated space to put all the violating cotton and free up the stress and guilt that had plagued me thus far.

Okay in rereading this I see how it can sound all a bit much, but in honoring those parts of you (good and bad) that are changed or challenged by our expanded roles, I think it helps to better understand our self and our potential impact on our children. If you repress your instincts instead of finding a way to coexist with them what are you really modeling to them?

Self-health comes from an initial self-understanding and ultimately a positive coexistence with all the aspects of yourself (in addition to letting go of the negatives we all carry). My sanity savers have even helped me in ways I could not have predicted; my husband now knows where the dirty stuff gets placed and that in itself is a victory! So embrace your needs and find a way to live with them in harmony (and efficiency of course). I’d love to hear what you have found to be your sanity saver. I enjoy finding a way to tackle an obstacle, but am wise enough to borrow and incorporate the great inspirations of others. Contact me below!

Sanity Savers 9/28/2012

Your thoughts to share.